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Image Poem - Gate to Hell
Completed my first assignment for Creative Writing today!  The assignment was to find and image and then write the image in a poem, to try and describe it in a poem so that someone reading would be able to picture it in their mind's eye.

It was a really good write, even though the third line of the fourth stanza gave me a hell of a lot of trouble.  I spent something like an hour on coming up with that fourth line, and then the_bookwyrm said what about something with wind so it would tie in with my epigraph.  That said, here you go!

Gate to Hell

“A warm wind began to blow.  Here and there I saw small fires, like elf-fires, smouldering.  Nagasaki had been completely destroyed.”

–Yamahata Yosuke

Gate to the Sacred stands alone against the smoke-filled sky
battered (beaten) burnt; colour changing from Sanctified Vermilion
dark dirty desecrated black and grimy gritty grey

invisible to the eye now: shrine of Eight Million Gods
fragile fragmented fiery fractions of ruined lives – see them?
(beautiful?) broken ugly unsightly shattered shards of wood

is that a child’s body, flesh cracked cooked charred?
is it Mother’s carcass corpse cadaver there on the ground?
twisted tangled trapped limbs or maimed mangled melted debris?

scarred splintered shivered stone foundation without its walls
beams pointing protruding (prostrate) to the sky (upon the ground)
the wind wails whispers whimpers winds and weaves through invisible walls

Gate to the Sacred stands alone against the smoke-filled sky
battered (beaten) burnt; colour changing from Sanctified Vermilion
dark dirty desecrated black and grimy gritty grey: Gate to Hell


Image one (stanzas one, two, and five)
Image two (stanzas three and four)

The photos I wrote from were taken by Yamahata Yosuke, and were taken in Nagasaki on August 10, 1945, a day after the bomb was dropped.  Yamahata was diagnosed with cancer of the duodenum when he was forty-eight, and died before his forty-ninth birthday.  The cancer was probably caused by the radiation he absorbed while he was in Nagasaki shooting these photos.  You should take a look at he rest of them, too; there are some really powerful (also, somewhat graphic) images there.

I'm hoping that my classmates will understand that that quote I have up there is an epigraph - they seem intelligent, but we've only had one class together.  I'm also hoping that my prof approves of the use of epigraphs, because getting torn apart for using one on my first assignment is NOT what I'm going for.  XDD

So... yeah!  That's it!  If you would let me know what you think, that would be awesome.  Really, really awesome.

Please?  *woobley eyes*  Also, I still need a new LJ name.  Come on, brain, spit something out!

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Still like "White Collar Holler" but then I am a big fan of Stan Rogers :)

I like Stan Rogers, too, but I don't want to use song lyrics. ^^;;

Damn... The first word to come out of my mouth. That was powerful.

The constant use of alliteration. It adds to the effect of how serious the image that you are trying to describe really is. As if to say it's so bad, that conventionality restrains anyone's ability to see how horrible the sight.

Thanks very much. ^_^ I'm glad that the alliteration worked so well - I did it almost by accident in the first stanza and then I liked how it worked, so I kept doing it.


Please make sure to post her comments, I'd like to see what she says.

...Eh? Was that said to me or other people in general? ^^;; *clueless like that*

No, you. I was just curious as to what she can say for/against it. I may thought it was a great, but I would really like to know what a professor would say about it.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Oh, the "she" is my professor, not me. XD Okay. ^^

I'll make sure to let you know what she and my classmates (most of whom are guys, which is a complete 180 from last year's CW class) say about it. ^^

Sorry again.

Thanks, how was last year's Creative Writing class?

Hey, no worries. Not a big deal. ^^

I wasn't in it last year, but beautydreaming and electronic_emo were, and there were three or four guys out of a class of twelve people. This year, there are three girls in a class of eleven, so it's like a total turn around. ^^;;

How many Creative Writing classes are there per year?

There's one section at the 200-level and one section at the 300-level. There isn't a 100-level CW class because the only 100-level English class are 100 and 110, which are both intro classes. To take any higher level (200+) classes, you need to pass 100 or 110.

My Creative Writing class is actually the intro CW class. The 300-level class is the intermediate class, but there is no advanced class at the 400-level.

Is your professor the only teacher for Intro to CW

This year, there are two professors for my class. Dr. Jeanette Lynes is doing poetry first semester then going on a half-year sabbatical starting in January, and Anne Simpson will be doing fiction second semester.

I had Jeanette for my English 110 class last year and I <3 her muchly, and I've been to some workshops Anne did at my local libraries (she's a professional author), and I really like her, too. Anne even acknowledged (after myself and a friend explained it to her) that fanfic is a valid form of writing and that it could be more difficult to write someone else's characters than one's own. Which makes me happy. :D

Great way of organizing the course. I personally would anticipate the fiction semester.

I really love your poem!!! And I just read down a few posts, you had a root canal!!! T_T I wish I could have been there to hold your hand like you did for me. Thats certainly something I won't ever forget. PS Im really sorry I didn't send you something for your birthday but I will get you something awesome for Christmas. ^_^

love ya

Thanks, Jess. ^^

Yeah, the root canal was not cool. But Denise was there so I didn't have to be alone.

No worries about the lack of birthday gift. ^_^

well, the third stanza is hardcore, orgasming love. That right there hits it hard, I think.

The alliteration also adds another good punch to it. I can't really explaining, but it really adds to the feeling of the poem.

dark dirty desecrated black and grimy gritty grey: Gate to Hell

Oh man, I love that rolling off the tounge at the very end.

Good job man, you nailed it.

*glomps and huggles and showers with love*

*huggles back* Thaaaanks!! <3 I'm glad you liked it!

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