caitlin_chan (caitlin_chan) wrote,

Uh... hi? XDDD

Ohai, I iz not dedz!

...Yeah, it's been ages since I posted, and I do realise this.

SO!  LIFE UPDATE!  (Including why I haven't updated in ages.)

Am now on antidepressants - Zoloft, to be precise.  Ever since last year I'd been miserable and down and ugh and I just thought it was school stress or something, but then classes ended and things that should have been awesome (new video games, best friend getting married to a wonderful woman, favourite books, etc.) no longer gave me any enjoyment or fun or excitement or anything.  I could barely make myself leave my room (because I didn't want to see my roommate), let alone the house (because I didn't want to see people).  I couldn't write, couldn't concentrate on anything, couldn't be bothered to DO anything.

It was fucking awful.

Early in the summer I finally managed to make myself go to the clinic in town and they referred me to the mental health folks at the hospital and I had a basic evaluation done, and got put on a list for the psychiatrist - it took me two and a half months to get an appointment (Sept. 28) because of the whole too many patients and not enough providers thing.  BUT!  I finally saw Dr. Raafat (I love her - she's awesome and adorable and hilarious) and we decided to put me on meds ( I had already started counselling at this point - Isabel is also awesome), so we tried the Zoloft first.  And LUCKY!  It works WONDERFULLY!  I am totally back to my pre-depressed, sometimes terrifyingly perky, cheerful, hyper, happy self.  I can't even explain how much better I feel.

Still working full-time at Wal-Mart on my nightshift - we have a new night manager that I love but nobody else seems to, haha, but still.

Also in classes - which is a whole other kettle of fish.  Last year, I failed practically everything and ended up kicked out of school - thankfully, the appeal I sent in regarding that decision was approved (or whatever) and they said I could come back on probation.  SO YAY!

But I've only got a partial courseload this year (three classes each semester) because of a few factors: the job, the depression, and because I didn't want to take out another student loan, as I already have a bunch.

So I've got Canadian Women's and Gender History (full year), Social Psychology (full year), Tolkien (half year, again, because yeah, I failed this last year - tells you just how bad things were), and Victorian Literature II (half year, next semester).  I don't have any marks yet (past first year, profs are not required to give midterm marks), but I feel a lot better this year than I did last year, and feel good about (almost) everything I've done so far (the timing on my Canadian Women's midterm was shitty and that went poorly but my prof gave me a couple extra cred assignments and it isn't worth a HUGE amount for the year).

I handed in my first Tolkien essay yesterday and I feel really good about it - although, lol, it was two pages 'too long', but Nemesvari said that wasn't a big deal and that a lot of other people had the same problem.  It was a crapton of fun to write, too, because it was option five on the list of essay topics, "a topic of your choice as approved by the instructor", so I got to write about, well, my absolute first choice.  ^^  It was super fun.  We have another paper for that class that was just assigned, and I'm hoping to do something, well, other than the given topics.  But I'll have to see if I can come up with anything.

Social Psych isn't really worth mentioning, haha.  It's sorta interesting but nothing interesting has happened, if you know what I mean.



My novel is a rewrite/continuation of this fic, which I wrote for blind_go last spring.

It's so much fun to write, especially since I now know who my villain is.  :D

Wordcount is a little low (around 3500 words when I 'should' be at 6668), since I've had school stuff to do, but I'm not gonna stress about it too much this year. 

Oh, by the way, my hair?  IS GREEN.  Like, VERY GREEN.  Pics forthcoming, I promise.

Tags: depression, fanfiction, hair, nano, university, writing

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.